Mitt Romney Needs Crabbe and Goyle (Newt and Trump)

Chi va dormir con i cani, si leua con i pulici
He that goeth to bedde wyth Dogges, aryseth with fleas
1573 J. Sanforde 

Mitt Romney is in Las Vegas today with Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich.
No, it's true - Via Politico!

One person on Twitter called them the "Triplets of Evil." Others wondered why Romney feels the need to hang around with Gingrich, who did nothing but insult him during the primary, and the other guy who is famous for saying "You're Fired!" and is a self-proclaimed Birther who thinks Obama is Kenyan. Of course, it's clear that hanging around with Romney is about the closest either Trump or Newt are going to get to the White House - and I personally don't think Romney will get there either.

They remind me of wealthy pureblood, Draco Malfoy and his thuggish Slytherin sidekicks, Crabbe and Goyle, from the Harry Potter books.

Read More Twitters About Trump/Romney at Snark Amendment

You would think by now that Romney would be distancing himself from the Republican Clown Posse, but au contraire - he is inviting voters to have dinner with them!

This is a REAL poster - You cannot make this stuff up!

 https://secure.mittromney.com/donate/donald

 

So has Mitt lost his mind? No, there be method in his madness, as he told reporters today:

You know, I don't agree with all the people who support me and my guess is they don't all agree with everything I believe in. But I need to get 50.1 percent or more and I'm appreciative to have the help of a lot of good people.

Aha! He needs friends that will send his campaign "to eleven," as in the Spinal Tap movie! The ends justify the means, and Romney will cozy up with anyone whom he thinks can get those Tea Party members or other goons to go out to vote for him. Always the businessman, eh? Always the bottom line ahead of ethics or common sense.

Here are a few quotes that I think Mr. Romney must have missed during his classical Ivy League education. He was too busy attacking the other lads with scissors, I guess. So, for your inspection, Mr. Romney, think about these quotes while sitting squeezed in between Crabbe and Goyle Newt and Trump:

To take refuge with an inferior is to betray one's self. ~ Publilius Syrus

A King's son is no nobler than his company. ~ Gaelic Proverb

A rusty nail placed near a faithful compass, will sway it from the truth, and wreck the argosy.
~Sir Walter Scott

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation. It is better be alone than in bad company.
~ George Washington

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx

Goodbye, Newt

Newt Gingrich is finally leaving what the Guardian UK calls his Awe-Inspiring Presidential Campaign.

For someone so boastful, surreally ambitious, condescending, compulsively philandering and just generally preposterous, it's always been oddly hard to truly dislike Newt Gingrich. If I had to guess the reason, I'd say it has something to do with the boastfulness, the surreal ambition, the condecension, the compulsive philandering and the general preposterousness.

I think about the only people who will miss Newt are the cartoonists, comedians and pundits.

I gathered up some of the Moon Madness about his farewell speech and posted them on my political quotes blog Snark Amendment

Rumor has it that Romney is gaining Newt's endorsement by paying off his huge primary campaign debt. Yeah, there's nothing like buying a good endorsement, or paying off a huge mountain of debt created by a fellow-Republican who complained for the past year about Obama and the Democrats wasting money.

I think Newt and Mitt prove one important fact: all the money in the world probably can't buy the Republicans this election. Yes, they can close the gap with Obama before November, but look at how much they've wasted in the primary just to try and defeat Santorum. And that guy would still be in the race if he hadn't sabotaged himself by opening his mouth once too often. So what did they prove? Obviously that talk is cheap, and they are hypocrites and narcissists willing to spend anything to buy the White House, while telling underprivileged children to become baby janitors so the good white wealthy children (like Newt's grandchildren) will fly to the moon.

Newt reminded us all that the moon is the root of the word "lunatic."







From Comedy Central's Indecision 2012